Xander's Lament
by SulkiestAlloy
Summary: Post season 6, Xander's feeling the affects of everything that's happened in the past year. He gets a visit from an unexpected partner.
1. Eye Opener

XANDER'S LAMENT  
Chapter 1 - "Eye Opener"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. Even characters that are made up, they belong to Joss.  
Author's note: This has season 6 spoilers. Not that we all didn't know what was going to happen a month before the finale, but still.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
The sun shone brightly through the window to Xander's apartment. It looked terrible since Anya left. No pleasant smelling insence, no hamper to store dirty clothes. No food in the refrigerator. He even missed the green cheese that Anya would eat all the time and stick up the kitchen. His alarm clock was mind numbing, maybe it was just the hangover talking but Xander wanted to destroy whoever came up with the idea of that anoying 'beep' the alarm clock gives. Slowly he got out of bed and pulled up the pants he had laid out on the floor.  
  
In the kitchen, Xander went to the fridge and checked for food, but all he noticed was the floor was wet. "Oh great!" Xander yelled as he noticed his water bottle had fallen over and spilled. Xander turned around to get a towel and slipped on the floor. The ceiling turned black.  
  
Xander woke up to the sound of pounding on his door. He got up and limped over to the door. "The boys at work won't be happy." He thought to himself as he realized his leg was real sore. He opened the door and it was Buffy. "God, what do you want?" Xander thought to himself. "Hi Buffy," he said, "What can I do for you?"   
  
"Xander, I've been trying to call you for hours, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Xander looks like he woke up in a dump... again.  
  
"Oh, I... uh..." Xander started, he wanted a good story to impress Buffy with, but he couldn't think of anything believable. "I slipped in the kitchen and just now came to."   
  
"Xander is that the best thing you could come up with in a split second?" Buffy asked, she was thinking he lied to her. "It doesn't matter, something happened at the construction site." Buffy paused, and then looked sorry when she noticed the water in the kitchen and all over Xander. "Something big... Xander sorry about that, I didn't believe you at first. Come on, lets get going!" Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy does it involve materials or my crew?" Xander asked.  
  
"Uh, no... but demon... hellmouth... you know the drill, and with Willow not here..." Buffy trailed off when she noticed how Xander's face turned pale at the sound of Willow's name. "Xander I need you, c'mon." Buffy insisted.  
  
"Fine, let me get dressed." In five minutes Xander was ready to go, Buffy was scoping the apartment, noticing how it went downhill since the last time she was there.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
At the construction site, which has been aptly named, 'Operation Hellmouth' by the crew, was the site of the new Sunnydale High, which is actually the old Sunnydale High, only newer. But Xander still was adding the personal touches he wished he had in highschool.   
  
The sky was exceptionally overcast around the school, one of the many signs of some big bad coming to rampage the splendid little town of Sunnydale. "Where's the big earthquake?" Xander asked, jokingly.   
  
The pair walked close to the place where the new library was going to be, which is where the old one was, so the hellmouth was in the same place. As they walked under the beams a big burned demon jumped out of the hellmouth. "Slayer!" It yelled, and it rushed over to Buffy, Xander jumped in its path and punched its face hard. The heat of the demon's flesh burned Xander's hand and you could hear the sizzling as Xander's hand was getting burned. The demon picked up Xander, burning threw his clothes and was about to give him a painful, scorching bear hug when Buffy pulled Xander away and started to attack the demon with a sledge hammer she found.   
  
"Buffy! Xander yelled, bust that pipe behind you!" Xander said, pointing the water pipe that was just installed. Buffy took a whack at it, and it ruptured, sending a rush of water over the demon, which caused it to melt.   
  
"That wasn't so bad." Buffy asked. "Xander are you ok?" She asked.  
  
"Oh yea, Buff. I'm ok, if by ok you mean in tons of excrutiating pain because my body is almost scraped of all flesh!" Xander said as he got up. He gave Buffy a rather mean look then rushed off. He ran to the hospital's emergency room.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Xander was lying in a hospital bed, rubbing a thick cast over his hand. All he could think about was how he was tired of helping Buffy. "All I do is sacrifice all I hold dear, and I get nothing out of it." Xander thought to himself. "I wish I could show her how I felt, give her all the pain I've had since she got here." He said quietly to himself.  
  
Just then a flash a smoke apeared and Anya was right in front of him. "Oh great, what do you want Anya?" Xander said, the thick sarcasm didn't phase Anya, she was immortal again, so partial to most emotions.   
  
"Hello to you too Xander." She said, as she walked over to him and ran her hand down his forehead. I heard your wish, and although technically I can't grant you a wish, I can help you succeed. When you get out, go see this guy. She slipped a business card in under his tray.   
  
"Demons have business cards now?" He asked her.  
  
"This isn't a demon, they only work with them." She said, and suddenly she was gone.   
  
Xander fumbled for the card, when he finally got a hold of it, he read it over. "Hmm, 'Wolfram and Hart.' Sound's like they mean business if they've got business cards." Xander thought to himself. 


	2. Welcome Back to the Hellmouth

XANDER'S LAMENT  
Chapter 2 - "Welcome Back to the Hellmouth"  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
Author's Note: See Chapter 1  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
As the sun had set over Sunnydale, and the streets were empty, except for one motorcycle coming into town. The driver was speeding, almost making fun of the speed limits that said "55 MPH". When he passed the sign that said 'Welcome to Sunnydale' he stopped and took off his helmet. He looked back on all the roads he traveled. Both physical and metaphorical. "Good old Sunnydale," the man said. "Hope Buffy is happy to see me." He said as he drove off.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
The Bronze was a crowded place to be tonight. There was a band playing on stage but Dawn didn't really care who it was. Dawn was celebrating starting school again with her friends. "Anyone want a drink?" She asked around the table.  
  
Dawn left to go get cokes for everyone at the bar, while she was there there was a familiar voice. "'Ello kitten." Spike said.  
  
Dawn turned around quickly. "Spike! She yelled as she hugged his neck. Spike was almost crying because he was happy to see Dawn. "Spike, where've you been!?" Dawn asked.   
  
"Well love, let's see, I was in Africa, getting a royal ass kicking, fighting to get my... to pass a test. And low and behold I win, and I got what I needed." Spike said.  
  
"Well that's amazing! I'm glad you're back! You missed a lot!" Dawn said as she was holding her drink.  
  
"Perhaps you would like to tell me about it then?" Spike asked.   
  
"Yea sure, let me tell my friends." Dawn said. And the pair were walking out of the Bronze.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Here you go Mr. Harris." A nurse said, handing Xander his clothes. "You can change into your clothes then you are free to go." She said.  
  
"Thanks a bunch, Sue." Xander said. After he got dressed he was heading out the door of the hospitals. The scars on his body itched still, but Xander didn't want to itch it. He wanted the pain to be fresh.  
  
When Xander got to his apartment there was letter under the door. Xander bent over and picked it up. He didn't want to read it at the moment, so he threw it on the counter, where all the other letters he'd gotten ended up. He went to the bathroom and stripped down for a shower. He turned on the water and let it just run off his body. He longed for those highschool days where if he didn't know what to do, he could ask one of his friends. "They're all gone," Xander wispered to himself. After being in the shower for a while, he got out, got dressed, then walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Xander sat down on his recliner, sipped his beer, then noticed the buisiness card Anya gave him, next to his keys.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
"So, you have your soul back?" Dawn asked. "Wow, why did you do that?"   
  
"I didn't want my soul back, pet." Spike answered. "It just ended up like that... But unlike our pal, Angel, mine comes curse free... unfortunately it comes with that whole redemption bit"   
  
The morning sun had risen outside the Summer's house. He and Dawn had talked all night, about Sunnydale and Willow, and about Africa and Spike's test. They seemed to just tune out reality just to talk to each other.   
  
"Spike, did you try to rape Buffy?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yea, I did, I was blinded by the love I thought I had for her." Spike replied. "But now that I think about it, it wasn't about love, it was about doing something no other bloke had done before. Be a vampire, boink the slayer, and live to tell the tale. But I feel awful about it Dawn, you got to believe me." Spike pleaded.  
  
"I do," Dawn said, "I'm probably the only one who will."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Xander decided around 11 o'clock that he would make a trip over to Buffy's house to see how she was doing. On his way out he noticed the letter he found under his door. He picked it up and noticed it had a return address in London, he quickly opened it up and read it. His hopes came true, it was a letter from Willow. She's coming back to town soon. Xander had a big grin on his face, as he walked out the door.   
  
As Xander was walking towards Buffy's house, he was being followed by someone. He didn't know who they were, but they weren't in street clothes, but instead they were in business attire, complete with briefcases. As he rounded the block before Buffy's house, he turned around and said, "look ok, what do you want?"  
  
There was no one there. Xander could've sworn there were people following him. He quickly made it to Buffy's house.   
  
With a few knocks at the door, Dawn came and opened the door, "Xander! It's been a while! How are you doing?" She asked. "Please, come in!" Dawn said, opening the door wider.   
  
Xander walked in and saw Spike sitting in the living room. "Woa, Dawn, what's he doing here!?" Xander asked looking for the nearest stake.   
  
"Xander it's ok. Spike's... different." Dawn said, not wanting to give away his secret.   
  
"What? Spike's gotten all moral?" Xander asked. "Does he still have the chip?"   
  
"Yes," Spike said, "But it's not like the way it was... things change over time Xander." Spike said.  
  
"Don't say my name like we've been friends all the time!" Xander said to Spike, then he turned to Dawn, "Look, tell Buffy I stopped by, I'm going to be at the Magic Box most of the day, then I'm going to the Bronze. Tell her to find me, will ya Dawn?"   
  
"Of course Xander." Dawn said.  
  
Xander then turned to Spike, "You, if you hurt her, I don't care how much time passes for you to change, I'm going to kill you, and that's a promise."   
  
And Xander left, to walk to the Magic Box. 


	3. Where Are You Going?

XANDER'S LAMENT  
Chapter 3 "Where Are You Going"  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
Author's Note: See Chapter 1  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Xander was so furious that Spike was back. There was nothing he could do about it either, no matter what Xander would say, it would only make someone angry. He needed some relief so he stopped by his house again to grab a beer. When Xander got to his place, there was a stranger in the shadows. Xander noticed that they couldn't be vampires since it's still daytime. So he figured they were human. "Excuse me." Xander said. "Can I ask what the hell you're doing outside my home?" Xander asked loudly.  
  
"Mr. Harris, we were contacted by a person who claimed that you needed our help." The woman said. Xander was taken aback, he assumed it was a man waiting for him. "I represent Wolfram and Hart, Mr. Harris, Lilah Morgan. Pleased to meet you." She stuck out a hand as a sign of good gesture, but Xander wasn't in the mood for it.  
  
"Sorry, I don't need a lawyer." He said as he was opening his door.  
  
"Mr. Harris, Xander if you dont mind." Xander shrugged like he didn't care. "We do more at Wolfram and Hart than simply represent those who are victims of misjustice, we also provide services to those who could be great allies." She stopped, Xander turned around and had a puzzled look on his face.   
  
"You see me as an ally?" Xander said. "What good can I do for you?" He asked.  
  
"I know what you're thinking, the only one in your gang who doesn't have anything going for him, Buffy's the slayer, Willow was the most powerful Wicca on this side of the earth, Anya is a vengance demon... Why can't Xander have anything going for him." Lilah looked at him intensly, studying his face, hoping to get the reaction she wanted. "I can't offer you anything myself, but I'm here to give you something that can help you. In return for you joining our team." Lilah grabbed a small box out of her purse and sat it on his table.  
  
"Let me get this straight, I'll get something good, if I join a team of evil?" Xander asked, hesitant of Ms. Morgan's offer.  
  
"Who said we were evil? That pathetic excuse of a vampire, Angel? We aren't evil Xander, sure we do things that aren't looked up at. But we only do what's needed at the time. And we're here now, because now's your time to make something of yourself. We wont ask you to do anything you aren't capable of, we would just feel assured if we had your word you wouldn't turn on us or use our gift to harm us."   
  
"Sounds fair, can I get a test drive?" Xander asked, holding the box.   
  
"Sure, we'll call you tomorrow and hear your answer." Lilah turned and opened the door. "Goodbye Xander." And she left.  
  
"I wonder what's in here?" Xander said, pulling the ribbon off the box.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *   
  
Buffy got off work from the Doublemeat Palace early and was bringing food home for Dawn, she opened the door to their house, and it was unusually quiet in the living room, so she walked up to Dawns room.   
  
"Dawn? Dawn, are you here?" Buffy asked. Suddenly she heard Dawn mumble something and she heard sounds of panic. She rushed to Dawn's room and threw the door open. "Dawn, what's going on?" She said as Dawn was sitting on her bead.  
  
"Oh nothing, sis, just sitting up here." Dawn was obviously lying and Buffy could tell.   
  
"Dawn, do you have a guy in here?" Buffy asked, not falling for the same things she gave her mom.  
  
"Yea, sorry, he's been here all night, we've been talking I swear!" She said, as Spike got up from behind her bed.  
  
"You..." Buffy said.  
  
"Hello Buffy." Spike remarked, knowing he wasn't wanted.  
  
"Get out." Buffy said plain and simple.  
  
"Buffy, he can't... sunlight." Dawn said, pleading with her sister.  
  
"I don't care Dawn, I'll throw him out if he doesn't leave now." Buffy said walking closer.  
  
"But he'll die!" Dawn yelled.  
  
"So? He's a vampire." Buffy replied.  
  
"So was Angel, love." Spike interrupted.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked.   
  
"I'm just saying that it wouldn't seem fair to kill me, when you wouldn't kill Angel." Spike said.  
  
"That's different, Angel has a soul..." Buffy realized what Spike was getting at. "You don't!"  
  
"I'm afraid I do, pet; Angel's not the only vampire with a soul. It's almost trendy." Spike said.  
  
"Oh well, I'll still throw you out!" Buffy said grabbing Spike.  
  
Dawn got up and got in front of him. "No Buffy. I won't let you!"   
  
"Dawn, how can you let him get close to you? He's a monster, no wait, now he's worse than a monster... he's a loser. He wanted to get in my pants so bad he went and got his soul!" Buffy yelled.  
  
"That's not how it happened." Spike intervened.  
  
"What?" The girls asked.  
  
"I didn't want my soul, and just for clarification, unlike Angel, my soul's permenant." Spike said, sitting on the bed. Tears were filling his eyes. "I didn't want this damnit. I didn't want to all of a sudden feel terrible about my own existance. Bloody hell, I went to Africa to talk to a big ancient demon, to take my chip out, so I could kick your ass around the block." Spike said, noticing Buffy got angry at that. "But once I passed his test, which mind you was very painful and excrutiating, he gave me the one thing I didn't see coming, my soul." Spike started crying and Dawn was over him, comforting him. "William the bloody is here to stay it seems." 


End file.
